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lost again

All Lyrics by Kerry Rutherford copyright 2007

Good Intentions:
There's a thing that's rising, a longing of fire, burning a hole through this heavy shell, turning perfection to ashes. All that remains is a pulse, and a breath and a heart with good intentions, and nowhere to go, looking for a place to rest, to relate with relations of a kindred kind, kind and sweet, same sweetness as this longing of fire, that's burning this hole, turning perfection to ashes. There's a thing that's rising, a longing of fire burning a hole through this heavy shell, turning perfection to ashes. I've got nowhere to go. I'm looking for a place to rest, to relate with relations of a kindred kind, kind and sweet, same sweetness as this longing of fire that's burning this hole, turning perfection to ashes, leaving a pulse and a breath and a heart, filled with good intentions, leaving a pulse and a breath and a heart, filled with good intentions.

Lost Again:
In the night, I lay sleeping, images changing, borders leaving, dreams ragged, dark thoughts creeping in and Iím lost again. Shifting sands, securityís illusion, ordered life now filled with confusion, reaching out to find some peace of mind. Iím wondering where you are. A tree that shades me, night sky that saves me, winds that revive me, and I feel you now, youíre that break in the clouds. I see darkness unfolding, childlike visions eroding. I need a bridge to cross to where you are Ďcause Iím lost again. A tree that shades me, night sky that saves me, winds that revive me, and I feel you now, youíre that break in the clouds when Iím lost again.

Mercy:

Itís time to let go, does anybody really know what day it is? Itís time to be free, does anybody really see this mess weíre in? I could make a case that the human race is still evolving. But lately it seems, whenever I dream, I see it all unraveling. I can hear the rain healing the pain of this world. Itís pouring down from the heavens like mercy. Possibilities of being me abound. Memories, like scents, turn my head as they drift by. Who was that years ago who gave herself away like cheap perfume on a sidewalk market day? Love disguised as innocence is vulnerable to the fairy dust of greed and all the gods and goddesses are looking for salvation. Theyíve lost their way, being born from the human seed. Oh but I can feel the rain healing the pain of my world. Itís pouring down from the heavens like mercy.

Rebirth:

There's such a fragile thread that binds me to this earth and as it is dissolving, I long for rebirth. But not the kind that makes me wade through another life in vain. Just the kind that takes it all away and hands it back again, right now, right now, right now. Sometimes it seems I work so hard to get to where I am, to feel the oneness of it all, the joy that does not end, light shining in the darkest corners allowing me to see that fear is illusion. I long to be set free right now, right now, right now. There's such a fragile thread that binds me to this earth and as it is dissolving I long for rebirth. But not the kind that makes me wade through another life in vain. Just the kind that takes it all away and hands it back again, right now, right now, right now.

Fall from Grace:

The faces of this darkness are blinding to my light. Illusions never walk with dignity when I give up without a fight. Where are you when I'm calling, when I wonder why I'm here? Is Mona Lisa smiling or is hers the face of fear? Go through hate to get to love. I'm just me, I'm all you see. There is no hidden face. It's just a total fall from grace. Am I beneath this weight today for believing in the lie, the one that takes me hostage for a piece of apple pie? Am I placing hope in symbols when I think peace has a chance? Cause I feel the anger rising from our unholy circumstance. Go through hate to get to love. I'm just me, I'm all you see. There is no hidden face. It's just a total fall from grace.

I See Clearly:

The changes inside me take the darkness from my eyes. I thought that you hurt me and I held that feeling with pride. I don't really like you but then I don't really know you. I can't really see you. You've hidden it so well. Whenever you look at me, you don't really see me. I'm not sure you realize it's not about you anymore. You can stand here beside me but you cannot accuse me. You don't really know me, I've hidden it so well. Today I see clearly and I cannot criticize. I take full responsibility for the way I'm seen in your eyes. Now I know what I feel, now I say what I think. I choose for myself and I carry no blame. The changes inside me take the darkness from my eyes.

Oh Mother:

Oh mother whatcha doing? Oh father, whatcha doing? Trying to fix your kid, do you realize what you did? Oh mother what did you expect? Heís not a perfect person, he donít give you respect. So did you want a little servant? Did you want a little clone? Someone to bring your slippers, and then leave you alone? Well, schools canít fix him, government canít fix him, your priest canít fix him, noone can fix him. I know you changed his diapers, I know you dried his tears. But why were you doing that all those years? Did you want a little servant? Did you want a little clone? Someone to make you proud and then leave you alone? Well, schools canít fix him, government canít fix him, your priest canít fix him, no one can fix him. And what if he wonít do it, gets a mind of his own? Will you send him out on the streets To finish childhood alone? Just how far will you go to make him just like you? Are you sure itís worth the price to push your point of view? Well, schools canít fix him, government canít fix him, your priest canít fix him, no one can fix him. Oh mother whatcha doing? Oh father, whatcha doing? Trying to fix your kid, do you realize what you did.

No Regrets:

Thought of you just the other day. Smile on my face wouldnít go away. Something about you is gonna stay and I know that I wonít regret it. Iíve got this inner thermostat that sometimes clicks this way, sometimes that. Iíve got this hand reaching into me. Like a puppet Iím a slave, then like a bird, Iím free. Love isnít this complicated thing when Iím with you. Somehow itís just no big deal that I havenít got a clue. Thought of you just the other day. Smile on my face wouldnít go away. Something about you is gonna stay and I know that I wonít regret it.

Disappearing:

Interference all around, witnesses are on the ground. Someoneís knocking on my door but I donít live here anymore. Iím disappearing, Iím disappearing. Speaking truth it has a price and some folks they wonít treat you nice. The governmentís got my name and Americaís not quite the same. Itís disappearing, itís disappearing. Fear and power, power and fear, their message comes through loud and clear. Iíve got no tricks left up my sleeve and all the saints have taken leave. Theyíre disappearing, theyíre disappearing. But as light is fading I see a spark, something glowing in the dark. Iíll hold it sacred if I can, keep it hidden from the man. Thereís nothing left but full correction of our governmentís disconnection by witnessing the resurrection of humanityís connection to something sacred. We hold these truths to be self-evident. But someone needs to tell the president that Americaís not quite the same. Itís disappearing, itís disappearing. But as light is fading I see a spark, something glowing in the dark. Iíll hold it sacred if I can, keep it hidden from the man. Interference all around, witnesses are on the ground. Someoneís knocking on my door but I donít live here anymore. Iím disappearing, Iím disappearing.


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